Black Girls Rock!

Posted on November 10, 2010 by Robin

I watched BET’s Black Girls Rock! Sunday and was struck by the diversity of women celebrated. Empowering comments made by actresses and role models Ruby Dee and KeKe Palmer, among others, inspired me.

I enjoyed learning about fierce women such as Teresa Clarke, Chairman and CEO of Africa.com,  an online portal connecting all 53 countries on the African continent. Clarke was also honored for her work on Wall Street as a managing director at Goldman Sachs, and for co-founding the Student Sponsorship Programme in South Africa (http://www.ssp.org.za).

As a young girl I rocked because the women in my life told me I was special and treated me like a gift to the world. I voiced my dreams with conviction and fought for my dignity because my mother, grandmothers and aunts showed me how.  I knew black women rocked in unexpected ways since Shirley Chisholm ran for president long before I could vote and Diahann Carroll had her own groundbreaking TV show, Julia, where she rocked a nurse’s uniform instead of a maid’s.

So do girls growing up with Michelle Obama in the White House and Oprah running her own network need to be told they can rock? Absolutely. Too many mixed messages shape the minds of females today.

I support whatever helps females of color at any age create a vision for their lives and claim their power. I knew Black Girls Rock! would inspire. What was unexpected was finding inspiration on another show, one I saw for the first time during a weekend marathon. Tiny & Toya surprised me with episodes shaped by uplifting themes.

Starring  Xscape singer-songwriter and the wife of rapper T.I., Tameka “Tiny” Cottle and rapper Lil Wayne‘s ex-wife Antonia “Toya” Carter, the show defied my prejudged notions. I expected a clone of the Real Housewives of Atlanta where women preen, posture and pretty much act the fool for fleeting fame and fake fortune. I realize such “reality” shows entertain, but Tiny’s reflections about her father’s Alzheimer Disease and Toya’s admiration of the long and loving marriage of  Tiny’s parents felt real.

The show has it flaws. I spotted Phaedra, a lawyer who labels herself high-profile but craves low-brow reality stardom as she is also on RHOA, where pregnant, she preens and poses [once with a pickle!] while spouting put-downs. Yes, I watch RHOA and sometimes I’m troubled that I do. Seeing it immediately after the fabulous Black Girls Rock! really made me think about the power of the diverse images we project.

As a girl I raced to the TV to watch Julia. As a woman I watched three very different shows on the same day that feature, to varying degrees, black women of accomplishment.  The completely inspirational Black Girls Rock! was broadcast around the world!  How far we’ve come. How I wish I could see the uplifting shows black girls and women will watch 50 years from now.

Posted in Women Who Rock | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

“The Other City” Is Nearby

Posted on November 4, 2010 by Robin

Never had I thought about where I might die until tonight.

I spent a couple hours learning about Joseph’s House in Washington, D.C., which provides a nurturing place for homeless people dying from AIDS. The organization is featured in a new documentary, “The Other City.” Produced by Sheila Johnson, this powerful film introduces us to the faces behind the mind-boggling statistics that tell us D.C. has the nation’s highest HIV/AIDS rate, which rivals African countries.

This film transports us to the tourist-free side of Chocolate City and wallops us with narratives from people often overlooked. We meet a young man infected as a teenager, a demographic that helps to make up one-third of new HIV infections nationwide. We see up close a mother, 28, with full blown AIDS, struggling to keep a roof over the heads of her three children.

We see them, white, black, Latino, straight, gay, young and old.  The five individuals profiled fight for their dignity and work to keep others from sharing their dignity-robbing disease.

Hubby is used to me weeping when a film pierces my heart. “The Other City” made me more emotional than “Waiting for Superman.” But this time my river of tears flowed out of a deep gulf of shame.

I was one of those people who turned a deaf ear to a friend in the early ‘90s who knew he was dying from AIDS. He asked me to come see him. I would not go. We had a special friendship as young journalists and shared a home with other journalists one summer in Berkeley, California. Still, I would not go. I did not have an excuse then and I wish I could think of one now to justify such selfish and idiotic behavior.

The beauty of life is we can grow, we can change, we can reboot.

Thank. God.

I thought of Ed throughout the insightful film written by a Washington Post  journalist whose coverage of the topic earned him a Pulitzer Prize. Ed was loved and died with dignity. For too many, that is not the reality and for this epidemic to explode in our nation’s capitol is unconscionable.

The screening benefitted the Fan Free Clinic, a nonprofit that aids the “other city” in Richmond. The first free clinic in Virginia will celebrate next week its 40-year anniversary.

I felt tired before I arrived at the event. By by the end of the film I felt oddly rejuvenated.  As hard as the film was to watch at times, it showcased the indomitable human spirit. On the spot, I decided to go beyond being moved to tears. So before the reception got underway, I introduced myself to the executive director of the Fan Free Clinic and asked her how could I help? With HIV infections rates increasing in some cities nationwide, that’s a question more of us can ask.

Posted in Awakenings | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Writer Whips Procrastination Until Tomorrow

Posted on November 3, 2010 by Robin

As someone who put the “pro” in procrastination, I am outing myself on internet blast to meet two deadlines regarding the revision of my coming-of-age manuscript. I completed the first draft six years ago. Now, with the encouragement of friends who are wonderful writers and an interested agent, I need to polish the next draft.

For writers everywhere avoiding the work that qualifies you to describe yourself as a writer, come walk with me. With our bowed heads and stooped shoulders we will wander wordlessly seeking the light.  Wait! Do you see that ahead?  A glow of hope fueled by deadlines.

The first deadline is courtesy of National Novel Writing Month, which just happens to be November. Day 3, and I’ve yet to revise a page, although I have been thinking about it constantly. But thinking isn’t writing. So I signed up last night to participate in the contest, which calls for a 50,000-word (175 page) manuscript by midnight Nov. 30.

The second deadline is courtesy of the James River Writers, an awesome organization in my own backyard that I grow increasingly fond of with each newsletter. The Best Unpublished Novel Contest 2011 has a Dec. 15 deadline. You must have a tie to Virginia to enter your first 50 pages. The entire manuscript will be requested if your work  passes the first round of judging.

Writing from the gut and the recesses of my heart and soul challenges me like nothing else.

Not one to shy from confrontation, tonight I will duke it out with my fear of failure. I will stomp rejection and whip her best friend Miss Doubt. It promises to be an exhausting evening. But even if I  have to pull an all-nighter, I will write a few pages. While many sleep, I will briefly celebrate my short-lived victory. Because fighting the battle to write the magic words is constant, elusive and consuming.

Posted in Writing Tips | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Life’s Melody

Posted on October 31, 2010 by Robin

Lately I’ve been MIA on facebook. Sure, I may do a drive-by a few times a week. But I limit my lingering since facebook can suck all the oxygen out of the room. It’s a time thief. Yet, every now and then it’s a treasure trove, too.

While visiting the page of a friend I actually know, I noticed a video he posted with this provocative title: Dancing Under The Gallows. I watched it and learned the bone-chilling and inspirational story of Alice Herz-Sommer, who, God willing, will turn 107-years-old November 26.

Still playing the piano daily, she is the oldest Holocaust survivor in the world.  It was her musical ability as a concert pianist that spared her life at a Nazi concentration camp. Sommer has always known music produces hope.

“Music is God. You feel it especially when you are suffering,” she said.

Music, augmented by her optimistic outlook, has fueled her long life and made each day a precious gift.

“I am looking for the nice things in life,” she said, during an interview when she was 103. “I know about the bad things, but I look only for the good things.”

Her story reminded me of a quote I recently posted on facebook: You are the music while the music lasts. When I first read it I thought about it for days.  What kind of music am I? A shrill melody or soothing sonnet? Is my tempo welcoming or are my chords discordant? Honestly, it depends on the day, but overall I like to think my beats are universal with a distinctive harmonious groove.

Sommer wasn’t the originator of that quote, it belongs to T.S. Eliot. But Sommer lives those words daily.  This centenarian said she never hated anyone for anything because doing so would defile her. Individuals like her leave me awestruck and then ashamed at my own shortcomings. Haven’t we all held grudges for years over pettiness, severing meaningful relationships in flashes of anger or disappointment?

Sommer said only when we are old do we understand the beauty of life. She has more than a half-century head start on me for appreciating life so I take her at her word. Still, I strive to find joy daily knowing any day above ground is a fabulous one.

Sommer’s story will boost your spirits. Please watch the video, forward it and share your thoughts. Or at least think about the music emanating from the limited production called your life.

Posted in Women Who Rock | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Weighty Wisdom

Posted on October 29, 2010 by Robin

Last night I learned I had lost 100 pounds! In just a week.

The online Weight Watcher tracker congratulated me with a bevy of “milestone” stars masking as confetti and exclamation marks. The digital world party was a real jamming throw down in my honor.  The on-line party, where I was the guest of honor as “The Biggest Loser,” momentarily confused me until I realized what happened: while trying to enter a 1.6 pound loss, I accidentally wrote 100.

I shifted into panic mode as I tried to undue my unearned loss. The weight tracker partied on, wanting no part of my reality. How often is a 100-pound loss gala thrown in cyber space? Binary bunnies busted all kinds of moves rocking out on Robin’s results.

The edit link froze and it seemed my only recourse was to reset my weigh history. I logged off and called home to catch up with the folks sharing my DNA.

I told my 10 year-old niece what happened. She became hysterical. Not at the mistake. She laughed when I told her how much I had really lost.

Losing just a pound or two a week may serve as fodder for a giggle fest for a 10-year-old. But for women struggling to seek a healthy weight, such numbers are weekly goals, as elusive as they sometimes can be.

“One pound can lead to 100,” I said, trying to be sage and not annoyed.

“I thought 99 pounds led to 100,” she said, before lapsing into laughter.

Young folks. Gotta love them because you can’t accidentally lose them.

She then asked me how many pounds had I lost in two weeks.

I told her 2.6 pounds and braced myself for her raucous reaction. She did not disappoint, unleashing gales of gaiety. And then I laughed, too. Because when you are young, weight is a funny topic unless you happen to be the fat kid. She’s long and lean, at least for now. But if she runs into trouble in several decades when the fat genes friendly with our DNA find her, she’ll know what to do. Her family showed her how to melt excess weight in a healthy way.

Losing a pound or two weekly may one day be her goal. That made me chuckle as we laughed together.

Posted in Awakenings | Tagged , , , , | 10 Comments

“Waiting For Superman” Soars

Posted on October 22, 2010 by Robin

I went to a private viewing of “Waiting for Superman.”  I found this masterfully executed film dazzling and disturbing. It reminded me that movies can move you to act. Clever, funny and heartbreaking, I found myself unable to leave the theater long after the credits rolled, partly because of my screenwriting and filmmaking aspirations, but also because of the emotional impact of what unfolded on the big screen.

My tears washed away the little makeup I wore. Not one to telegraph the highlights of a film, I will say this: For those who believe “Waiting for Superman” is pro charter schools, this statistic is shared: 1 out of 5 charter schools have newsworthy results. As a former education reporter, I was pleased that telling detail was not cut. My criticism, and spoiler alert, is that the film focused on finding quality schools for students fortunate to have parents who value education in our proud-to-be-dumb-culture.   Another statistic shared: 68 percent of incarcerated men in Pennsylvania prisons lack a GED. It’s a no-brainer to say most of them lacked advocates for their education. Enrolling the most motivated and brightest students into selected schools is more than a brain drain, it makes teaching easier and excellence achievable. And following such children produces awesome narratives for a film.

That’s not to take anything away from the sweet-faced children featured in the documentary. They blew me away. So much so that I ditched plans to go slogging (slow jogging) on a sun-hugged afternoon in Byrd Park to participate in a discussion after the film at the University of Richmond. There, led by a team from Leadership Metro Richmond, we discussed what we can do as a community to help public schools. Reforms that encompass the complex causes of student failure and not one-sided reforms should anchor the community conversations stoked by the film. This documentary illustrates the power of visual storytelling and how it can move us to act in unexpected ways. And to think differently. Because I realize, gender discrepancy aside,  I am superman.  And so are you. The kids are waiting for us.

Posted in Awakenings | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Driven to Excel and Uplift

Posted on October 15, 2010 by Robin

Two former newspaper colleagues were feted last tonight for their inclusion as metropolitan Richmond’s best, brightest and most beautiful-in-spirit residents. Stacy Hawkins Adams and Osita Iroegbu were among Style Weekly’s 40 under 40, an annual honor that celebrates young movers and shakers, some known, others out of the spotlight until now. The class of 2010 rocks. Not a weak link in this impressive, diverse bunch.

Stacy, an author, writing coach, speaker and advocate for children, is a petite powerhouse who just gets it done. Humble and a bit shy with a lovely smile, she exudes fierceness when it comes to creating blueprints to construct her dreams. In the four years since she left daily journalism, she has written sixe books, founded the Richmond chapter of the American Christian Fiction Writers and started a coaching program for aspiring authors. That’s only a taste of her jam-packed resume. She is an awesome mother to two children I wish I could clone and wife to a man who matches her in warmth and kindness. I am proud to call her a friend and a role model. She may be younger, but I learn something about resilience, grace and sincerity every time we talk. She is the real deal.

So is Osita, a woman with a Nigerian Father and African-American mother whose passion is community building and education. She walks the talk. Raised in Richmond public housing, she didn’t do like many others with the same background: move out, move up and move emotionally far away. This public relations and marketing manager for the Richmond Development and Housing Authority has started a mentoring program with Virginia State University for girls in the same public housing community she grew up in. The fact that all seven of her siblings have either graduated from college or are attending college is one more reason her life story should be a movie. Listening Hollywood? She also credits my husband, Mike, as her mentor.

Stacy and Osita represent just a fraction of the dynamic talent at the awards dinner, where I fought back tears as awe-inspiring recipients were introduced. Some people find the “40 under 40” list demoralizing when using it as barometer of their own accomplishments. I found being surrounded by such driven individuals uplifting and spiritually refreshing. Each recipient demonstrates compassion and an unquenchable need to make a difference. If you can call some of them friends then you are in stellar company.

One of the best perks of the evening was that I nominated Stacy and Mike nominated Osita. Neither one of us knew the other had done so until after we learned our nominees had been selected last month. We were tickled that our choices became part of the class of 2010. Also, we were touched by the insight and thoughtfulness of each other. Last night I celebrated the outstanding company I am blessed to keep — outside my home — and in it each day.

Posted in Women Who Rock | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

My Mockingbird Muse

Posted on October 11, 2010 by Robin

So I started the last day of the James River Writers Conference meeting with an agent about my manuscript.  I only had five minutes so I told her I would share a 90-second story that prompted my work. Bottom line?  She wants to read it! She knows I am working on a major revision so the clock is ticking!

I thought hearing “send it to me” would be the highlight of my day. But I soon found myself enthralled with a panel discussion about writing dialogue and later beaming during a spirited and wickedly funny session about screenwriting.

Just when I thought nothing anyone else said could offer more teachable moments about writing strategies that work, along came Charles J. Shields as the last speaker.

Shields wrote the biography of Harper Lee, author of the fabulous “To Kill A Mockingbird,” one of my all-time favorite reads. It’s one of the few books I try to reread yearly so I can fall in love again with its grace, truth and heartbreak. Lee’s work reminds me why I need to write. Shields’ comments reminded me to dig it out as I gear up to drill deep during the second revision of my own work. I believe it’s a happy coincidence that like Lee’s story, my novel addresses the elusive nature of truth, justice, racism, and identity through the eyes of a young, spunky girl.

This summer marked the 50th anniversary of Lee’s book, which is almost as popular as the Bible in our nation. Extremely private, not much is known about Lee, which is why Shields wrote the biography without her input. I haven’t read his book, yet. But from reviews, it seems like he hasn’t learned a great deal about Lee since she told those who know her best not to cooperate.

Harper Lee is a bonafide celebrity who shunned the spotlight for decades. Still, I give Shields props for trying to scale a privacy wall so painstakingly erected by Lee that it still looms in this age of-too-much-personal-information. How quaint is that facebookers and my tweet peeps?

Maybe the mystery surrounding the Pulitzer Prize-winning Lee makes “To Kill A Mockingbird” more powerful. What I know for sure is I will start reading it in a matter of hours. Nothing fuels my desire to write –in order to learn what I know –like reading a nearly flawless book. It just so happens it’s been nearly two years since Scout and I hung out. I need her now like never before.

Posted in Writing Tips | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Writing Forward

Posted on October 9, 2010 by Robin

Had an awakening today while moderating a panel on “The Art of  the Interview” at the James River Writers Annual Conference. Writing, no matter the form, is such a solitary endeavor. So being surrounded by talented wordsmiths inspired me to revise my 188,000-word manuscript.

Meeting with an agent tomorrow as part of the conference will inspire me more. That’s the beauty and power of such gatherings. You get the ear of some folks who could spin your life in a different direction. And if not, you still benefit from informative and engaging sessions with practical tips on honing some aspect of writing.  My panelists: Phaedra Hise, who has mastered the art of writing about whatever she wants, from wicked workers to aircraft accidents; Harry Kollatz, Jr., the fedora-clad storyteller with an engaging style; and May-Lily Lee, host and senior producer of Virginia Currents, the longest-running statewide television series currently on air.

Good company indeed.

Phaedra is wrapping up her fifth book, this one on the hot topic of hoarding. She told me she had three weeks left to write two chapters. Immediately my long-neglected desire to be a published author poked me near my heart. Hard.

I had questions to ask so I pretended not to notice. But as I faced the audience of writers I saw myself in their eyes. I understood their rapt attention and a palpable hunger for answers, strategies and connections to make their writing dreams materialize.

Six years ago I began submitting the first draft of my coming-of-age manuscript about a gifted and sassy 12-year-old African-American Catholic student in Philadelphia during the 1970s. Twelve rejections and a trip to the now defunct Maui Writers Conference later, I packed it up. Rejection stings and festers. Fast forward to this summer and a conversation with author and educator Paul Fleisher, who told me he had 50 rejections before he published a book. You just can’t give up, he said. I nodded half-heartedly as something stirred near my heart. I pretended not to notice.

Today, I asked the speakers “Who are your interview role models and what do you admire about their approach?” As I listened, my brain tilted right (its creative side) then left (its rational side) and I made a pact to fulfill my desire to be a published author.

So after I accidentally ended the session 15 minutes early (oops!) I ambled into the hallway to study the list of agents attending. I ran into Maya Smart, a JRW board member (and friend) who told me as a moderator I could meet with an agent.

What is it that they say about putting your requests out into the universe?

I got the last spot with the agent I requested. And no matter what happens tomorrow, I will keep moving toward my goal. Word by word. Day by day.

Posted in Writing Tips | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Ageless Dreams

Posted on September 30, 2010 by Robin

20100928_obama1

Virginia Shelton, 105, reminds us that we are never too old to dream big. Yesterday,  the spry and sociable Shelton met President Barack Obama when he stopped in Richmond to rally voters. And he hugged her not once but twice. Embracing the president was at the top of her bucket list she told me this summer during an interview for Richmond Magazine.

Meeting Obama, whom she proudly voted for, came three weeks after she received a letter from Michelle Obama for her birthday. The visit with Obama at the Southampton Recreation Center was a surprise for the centenarian, who credits her longevity to “the J.C. pill” [Jesus Christ].

Shelton’s spunk impressed me the moment I met her at the 150th anniversary of her hometown of Ashland. She made me chuckle that glorious Saturday when she said she had left her high heels at home since she planned to do a lot of walking during the festivities. Heels? She was 103 at the time. I knew then this lady had a zest for life.

Recently she ditched the heels at her family’s request. But her wit, enthusiasm and spiritual conviction remain.  Small wonder she is beloved in her hometown and the recipient of many awards for her contributions over the decades to her community.

I am so happy Obama embraced her not once but twice. She is probably one of his oldest voters and her advice to him is a timeless truth:

“Stand up and be truthful in whatever you do.”

Shelton, like Henrietta Smith, my 91-year-old grandmother, inspires me to move forward when sadness, and not the president, embraces me. Imagine what these women have witnessed in their lifetimes. Life demands resilience and no doubt they have a lock on that. So it must be so much sweeter that during their twilight years they were able to help elect the nation’s first African-American president.

When I look at the photo of Obama hugging Shelton, I rejoice at the power of that defining moment for her. May we all have dreams still left to pursue as we age. And be blessed with people who care enough about us to help them materialize.

Posted in Women Who Rock | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment